How to Manage Your Emotions
I can learn to live on the other side of feelings. I can learn to control and manage them and not allow them to manage and control me. -Joyce Meyer
It seems just when you make a declaration to operate on the principles you're learning, you get slapped with the realities of application! Are you really going to operate based on this new profound declaration? Are you going resort to the old way of responding?
Me, on last Wednesday morning: Lord, I’m in control of my emotions. I am more than conqueror. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Also me, not even 5 minutes later, faced with application…ready to blow UPPPPPP!! Should I respond? What do I say to correctly respond without a fuming reaction? This was truly my reality the ENTIRE week. From family to construction company frustrations, I was being tested and was failing miserably. My daily plan in the YouVersion APP that particular day was "To fast from thinking, I can't control my emotions." Literally, that should have been a warning for me to be prepared and ready for the challenge.
One situation after another challenged me and made me even more aware that I can do work more with managing my emotions. I was not completely prepared for the week before me but rest assured, the learning opportunities breeding was needed. I learned that I can work harder to take control of my emotions, instead of them taking control of me.
Identify Your Triggers
I'm usually a mild mannered person. It takes a lot for me to outwardly voice my anger. However, I am easily annoyed, which means I can be annoyed and irritated on a daily basis. Because I am human, doing life with other humans, its a part of life. Naturally, we get on each other nerves. Whether it be our spouse, our children, supervisors, co-workers, being annoyed is just a part of everyday life. Though I am aware that being annoyed is a normal part of life, I am also aware that I allow it to take up too much space. We have to, I have to make a conscious decision on whether this thing, this person is currently worth the irritation; that if left unchecked, easily transforms into anger, resentment, and/or bitterness.
What I have learned about myself over the past few years, I have triggers. We all have triggers that will easily take us from zero to one hunnid real quick. Most of us know these triggers in ourselves, but there are those occasions that we were not prepared and resulted in reaction, instead of being proactive. Today, I will identify three questions we can ask before allowing our emotions to take control. Because the Word tells us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19), we will be prepared to answer these questions before responding when next faced with application.
TAKE YOURSELF OUT THE SITUATION...DOES THIS DIRECTLY AFFECT ME?
Does this current situation directly affect me? If no, the answer is simple. Let it go. I have found myself in disarray more times than not because I allowed myself to become too emotionally vested in the affairs of others. Sometimes, you can want more for someone, than they desire for themselves. You pray for them, you keep going. I had to learn that one will plant, one will water, one will see the maturation of the seed. Though I may not see the seed, the reality is, it was planted. God will give the increase. 1 Corinthians 3:6-9
AM I TRYING TO CONTROL THE SITUATION?
If I be honest with myself, and I guess with you all as well, I like to feel in control of my life. The idea of not having the answers frustrates me. I was talking with a good friend the other day and we identified a similar character trait, we are both conflict resolution driven. If there's a problem, we have an answer. But what happens when resolution is not found? Frustrations sets in and leads to other emotions that can trigger a downward spiral of reactions and responses.
I'm learning to let go and let God. We've heard this frequently used church phrase our entire life, but here's the application version of the phrase: removing your natural desire to figure it out and turn it over to the One, who knows the end from the beginning. Isaiah 46:10 This is not easy, but if we're honest, we have a way of making things worse, even when we're trying our best. This is why we need Him. We acknowledge that we need Him, but do we give Him full control?
What's More Important?
To answer this question, we must pull ourselves entirely out the equation. Our feelings, emotions must be eradicated to answer this questions. What's more important, how I feel, or allowing God to work in the current situation? I'm in no way implying that you be mistreated, abused, physically or mentally. There are situations less life threatening, there are a lot of emotional triggers that originate from a place that we can control. This means disconnect from people, places, things, that are triggers for you. Sometimes, this may be family. If this is the case, we need a new approach when dealing with them.
There's a concept of compartmentalizing. Place the person, place, or thing in a particular box that reminds you to act in love but self-awareness in regards to them. I'm saying assess the situation to identify ways and changes you are able to make that will help you better control your emotions. Lets focus on being proactive instead of reactive.
In truly answering the questions in this post, I pray that you were able to identify triggers that send you on an emotional rollercoasters and implement ways to keep you rooted and grounded in your responses with yourself and others.
...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray you, being rooted and established in love, my have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:17-18 NIV